Hating Duane

Basically, today, I'm cranky as shit and I liked life better when I smoked. Sorry, I can't muster the positive attitude - before I took my Chantix today I smoked, and it was awesome, but I know better and I took my pill and now I'm nauseous and grumpy and moody and generally evil-spirited. So don't start thinking quitting smoking is easy, because it is absolutely not. My friends are all "come hang out" and I stated: "I don't want to sit around and chill with others when all I'm really going to be doing is wanting a cigarette." That remark was met with an "ooookay" but seriously, what do you expect? I'm going to go to the gym in a minute (might as well be beastly elsewhere, and it's not a peak time) but otherwise - when you're broke and it's raining and you're watching what you eat and drink and you can't smoke, what do you have to do except groan inwardly?

What I really want to do is the following:
1) Suddenly turn svelte and toned.
2) Have fabulous new wardrobe where nothing looks "widening."
3) Have all grades entered in computer and all students leaving me be.
4) See many friends I haven't seen in ages.
5) Drink and laugh and be merry.
6) Drink and laugh and be merry without being nauseous or aware of my waistline.

Honestly, what more could you want? I miss my friends; most of them live at least an hour or more away now. I've got some pals here, but I see them all the time. I need an extra set. Or something. I don't know, but it's either go to the gym now and grumble all the way through but at least think "now that cookie I ate is cancelled out" or sleep. That's how "blah" I feel - my number one solution is "I could sleep."

Jesus Christ, I was happier when I smoked. There, I said it again. And I'm going to take all of my vitriol out on Duane Alan Hahn. Today he will be the target of my angst, so here's one of his smoking quotes:

"Health concerns aside, here's a question for smokers who don't understand that they have an unpleasant odor. Have you ever known someone who had breath that smelled like it came straight from the back end of a horse? Well, you stink just as bad to many non-smokers and that's why some of them avoid you whenever possible. You stink long after the smoke clears. The stench clings to you and your clothing. If it's true that over 60 percent of taste comes from smell, you can understand why many non-smokers don't want you to smoke in a restaurant while they are trying to eat. Smokers ruin the taste of food."

Smokers ruin the taste of food, eh? The smoker, themself, ruins your tastebuds. Actually, it's the smoke, Duane, it's not the smoker, so your logic is wrong and I and Socrates trump you by brain power. But I promise you, as God is my witness, if I ever get a chance to ruin Duane Alan Hahn's meal I will. Another gem:

"Before you throw that cigarette butt, remember, that's fire burning at the end of that cancer stick. You are responsible for any property damage or lives lost because of your careless act."

So now, Duane, I am an (ex)arsonist as well? I am responsible for my "careless" act. Like someone in their right mind would purposefully pitch a burning cigarette at a gas pump or something. Duane not only thinks smokers ruin his appetite (tough titty, sit in the vast non-smoking area or, better yet, eat at home) but we're also responsible for fires and deaths by fire. Now, I know that there are parts of California where medians went ablaze 'cause smokers threw their butts out during a drought, but I'm sure it wasn't purposeful or with malicious intent. Careless? Perhaps, but I doubt it would get you Man One.

And now, the final Duane Alan Hahn quote for today:

"Many people who smoke are selfish. All that matters is their habit. They seem to love their addiction more than anything or anyone else. They don't care if their suffocating toxic smoke makes other people sick. They don't even seem to care if they give their own children or grandchildren headaches, bronchitis, nose-bleeds, or any other breathing or health problems.
They refuse to see the damage they do to other people and they don't seem to care. If they really cared about other people, they would at least go outside to smoke. But they usually just spout things like, "it's my house" or "I have rights too."
Message to smokers:
Stop trying to find excuses for your abuse of others and grow up."

Hey Duane? FUCK THE HELL OFF. First of all, you've moved smokers so that, even when they ARE smoking outside, you non-smokers turn up your noses or cough or glare, and the smokers feel dirty and evil and wrong - WHERE the HELL do you get off accussing smokers of not caring about others' health when the fucking GOVERNMENT makes the damn cigarettes legal and the PUBLIC makes it legal to smoke in, wait for it - PUBLIC. And you must have had some real damaging ethos, Duane, 'cause most smokers I know are already smoking outside of their own homes, and the few that I know who smoke in their homes - Guess what Duane, it's THEIR house, THEY PAY RENT, so you can not fucking visit if its such a problem. While I'm quitting I don't patronize bars or places with smoke so not to tempt myself - why don't you adopt a similar practice? And finally, when your behavior and addiction are to the point where you're bending over backwards to accomodate others, like not smoking around people who the smoke bothers, or not smoking around children period, like I did, it's more like to me that I'm the one having to EXCUSE others for not being socially tolerant, but I don't complain. You know why? Because I'm a fucking smoker with no legs to stand on, but you, Duane, with all your self-righteous finger-pointing, are the one who needs to grow the hell up. And fuck the hell off. Because EVERY HUMAN ON THIS PLANET HAS RIGHTS, and somewhere someone is probably hating everything you stand for, which is also a human right - do they need to grow up too?

Let me enable everyone. Here is Duane's website. He is a pissant. Adios.